You’re F’n Crazy

My neighbour has OCD or some shit. The chick is nuts. She’ll shovel her driveway at 6 in the morning when it has a half-centimeter of snow on it (that will eventually melt before the afternoon). She’ll rake her lawn if there’s 6 leaves on it. The lady is meticulously crazy.

Lil’D came home from work yesterday and went to put Lucky outside for some relief and noticed a pile of dog shit (2 days worth) right at the backdoor, probably waiting to be stepped on. There was only one suspect to this situation and it was crazy neighbour lady. The dead give away was the fashion to which the evidence was displayed; shit formed in a near perfect circle, meticulous. Not some random half-ass pile.

Now, you think that such a childish endeavor would be perpetrated by individuals of a much younger age, but my neighbours are at least in their late forties. A mature response, such as a friendly note or face-to-face discussion however is beyond her abilities. She would rather wait until we are off to work, seeing that she is at home all day being crazy.

Lil’D decided to go over and discuss the situation with her like a grown woman would do. Things were said and now we’re not friends with her. Apparently when you’re crazy you should be there behind your dog catching its shit in a bag before it even has a chance to touch the ground. The funny thing is we clean up after our dog every 2-3 days, which I think is acceptable. She does not. She does however think it’s acceptable to intrude on to our property, trespass into our gated backyard and arrange our dogs shit in hopes that we will step in it.

So this song is for you.


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